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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  April 2, 2014 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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>> bye, bye. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- president bill clinton. 6-year-old wiz kid, arden hayes. and manny pacquiao. with cleto and the cletones. and now, as far as i know, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: thank you for sneaking out your bedroom window to be with us tonight. it's a big night for us. president clinton is with us. do you remember him? smart guy. eats mcdonald's, plays saxophone. president clinton is here tonight to remind us about how happy we used to be. interest fact, under president clinton's leadership, this country put out a little movie called "space jam" and we haven't had a single "space jam" since he left. everyone in the audience get a cavity search? yes? ellen isn't the only host who gives things away. our security tonight is heightened. it's tight. it's very, very tight here. guillermo, have you been hanging around with us? >> affirmative, sir. >> jimmy: in mere minutes, president clinton will be sitting in the same spot once occupied by both honey boo boo and toronto mayor rob ford. that chair is going to be so confused.
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speaking of the mayor of toronto, rob ford today, this is great, the toronto city council voted on a bunch of little proposals this afternoon. one of them proposed to name a street after the late nelson mandela. another was a proposal on whether or not to congratulate canada's olympic and paralympic athletes. both votes passed 40-1. can you guess who that one vote against was? 6 80 news, rob ford votes against congratulating paralympic athletes in sochi. 680 news. rob ford now said he voted the wrong way. he meant to congratulate the olympians and paralympians.
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680 news, he also meant to vote for the after nelson mandela. he said he got the buttons confused. come on, toronto, how could you not re-elect this guy? he's the best. and it's wednesday. this is the first mistake he's made all week. meanwhile, march madness picked back um on saturday. the final hour are kentucky, wisconsin, uconn and florida. don't even try to convince me you had those teams in your office pool because you dependent. no one did. office pools are fun, but one of the not fun things about them is if you run it and you have to chase people around for money. our office pool, for instance, it's only $10, but still a lot of people haven't paid. my cousin sal had to chase you around. >> guillermo: that's right, g
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jimmy. >> jimmy: the only reason you finally paid him is because you still have a chance of winning this thing? >> guillermo: that's right. >> jimmy: collecting money from your co-workers can be a headache. but fortunately there's a new service now that can handle situations like this for you. >> you just won your office ncaa pool, but not everyone is paid up. and you don't have time to track down deadbeats. but manny does. manmy has all the people skills necessary to collect whatever money you're owed. from gentle reminders to enthusiastic encouragement. get the money you're owed without the hassle. don't get mad, get manny. >> guillermo: if your parent if >> if your parents owe you money, i will punch them in the face. >> jimmy: manny pacquiao is here tonight.
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and since president clinton is here, we thought it would be fun to do a special clinton edition of "lie witness news." so we went out on to hollywood boulevard today and we asked people about various news items involving president clinton. now, we made these news items up. none of them are true. all of them are bogus, but that never seems to stop people from weighing in on them. this is a special president clinton edition of "lie witness news." a. >> you obviously heard that president clinton announced he's going to be a judge on next year's "america's got talent." >> i think it will make him even more popular and it will expand his viewership, so to speak. people that can identify with him. >> what was your reaction when you first heard about it? >> surprised. >> i'm sure you been made aware at this point that president clinton has been recalled to active duty as commander in chief while president obama has knee surgery from that accident. should president clinton be allowed to station troops on the
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border of mordor? or should he focus on the situations closer to home? >> i think he should be concentrating on the situation. >> why is that? >> i mean, he's our president. that should be the first and foremost. >> he's our president until obama comes back from his knee surgery. >> right, right. >> does president bill clinton desefb 34r credit for winning the korean war? >> yeah, he does. people ignore that and maybe the plans he had in mind weren't as taken or as known to the public. yeah. >> what did you think of his performance on "dancing with the stars" last night. >> i'm sure you heard president clinton was given an honorahnor academy award for being the best president ever. which do you think was his best policy, louisiana purchase or
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roe versus wade? >> roe versus wade. he took the time to think about it. he didn't rush into it. >> what do you think of president clinton's new pony tail? >> do you like it? >> he looks like a little sissy. >> president clinton, put that pony tail off. >> cut it off. you don't need it. >> please. >> cut it off. >> jimmy: by the way, let's get fact flash to run around for us tomorrow on the show. okay? in addition to president clinton and manny pacquiao, we have a young man from right here in l.a. named aden hayes. he's 6 years old. he's amazing smart and knowledgeable, too. first time he was here, i quizzed him about american presidents and he knew an unbelievable amount. last time he was here, i quizzed him on world geography.
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he knew every country and capital city i came up with. he even taught me something before the quiz started. >> since you were here last, you've become very interested in geography, right? >> yeah, right. >> jimmy: that's why we have maps on the walls. you know every country in the world. >> that does not have south sudan on it. >> jimmy: it's missing a country? >> yeah. >> jimmy: where should it be? >> the blue country broke off into a southern half called south sudan. >> jimmy: oh, i'm sorry, i didn't know. i'm going to make sure someone gets fired over that. so arden has now moved on to the periodic table of elements. and i'm going to test his knowledge on that. he's 66 year 6 years old. i will never feel dumber than i do tonight. president clinton is here, manny
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. bill clinton and manny pacquiao are here tonight. but first, we're about to welcome a young man who's still in kin garten. he's a bright little boy who demonstrated an incredible little boy who knew about the presidents and geography. now he's here to talk about the elements. thanks for coming back. did you have fun the last time
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you were here? >> yeah. it's always fun. >> jimmy: good, good. it's fun for me, too. did you meet president clinton backstage? >> yeah, i did. >> jimmy: was that exciting for you? >> yeah. >> jimmy: is he one of your favorite presidents? >> well, truman is my favorites. >> jimmy: it seems unlikely you'll meet him. what did you talk about? >> we talked about architecture. >> jimmy: really? what specifically did you speak about? >> his presidential center. >> jimmy: oh, wow. you might want to visit some day. >> well, it's over in arkansas. i need plane tickets, though. >> jimmy: i'm sure we could figure that out if you really want to go. what do you know about facts about clinton? >> he met jfk. he was think about being a saxophone player but when he met jfk, he wanted to be president.
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>> jimmy: do you think meeting him made you want to be president? >> i still want to be a chemist. >> jimmy: how did you become interested in the periodic tables of the elements? >> my second big interest was geometry. what are these made of? of course, everything is made of elements. everything, you are made of elements, everything is made of elements. >> jimmy: what are the elements? >> everything that makes up everything. >> jimmy: how many elements are there? >> there are 118. >> jimmy: are there any we haven't discovered yet? >> of course, we have more to learn, if if you haven't discovered something. >> jimmy: so every element has a name, an abbreviation and a number, correct? >> yep. >> jimmy: and you know? >> all of them. >> jimmy: all 118. okay, all right, do you want to do a little quiz here? okay, let's do it.
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i'm going to show you a symbol and you tell me its element and atomic number, okay? here we go. look right here. >> that's tin, 50. >> jimmy: tin and 50. that is right. why would the abbreviation for tin be sn? >> it's the latin name. >> jimmy: oh, all right. let's see the next one. >> 59 and praseodynium. that's kind of a hard one to say. >> jimmy: yeah, that is a hard one to say. if i give you a number, can you tell me what the element is? >> we haven't really worked on that. >> jimmy: put a number up there. do you know what that is?
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>> krypton. >> jimmy: right. where superman was front. did you know that? >> why did they the element for in a movie. >> jimmy: kryptonite, is that a real thing? >> no. krypton is. >> jimmy: you know what it looks like also. what is this element that we have here? >> that is bismuth. that is bromine and barium. >> jimmy: oh, i thought that was breaking bad. have you ever seen that? >> no. >> jimmy: probably for the best. can you list all the elements in
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order? >> hydrogen, helium, lithium, ber ril yum, boar ron, carbon, night tro general, oxygen, floor reen, nione, sodium, magnesium, alo argon, potassium, calcium, iron, cobalt, nickel, copper, zinc, arsenic, solalium -- >> jimmy: all right, i believe you. i give up. [ applause ] >> cesium, solarium. >> jimmy: we get it. you're embarrassing me now. >> chromium, urbium -- >> jimmy: what's your favorite
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element? >> neodinium. >> hey, why is it going? brobelium. >> jimmy: unbelievable. what do you think of the element neon? do you like that one? >> yeah, because it lights up. it's noble. >> jimmy: as a matter of fact, we have a little present for you. i think it's something you might be excited by. that is your name. i think that's neon. >> it might be an open sign or something. >> jimmy: no, it says arden. oh, you can't read?
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>> i can. i mean, there could be neon in an open sign. >> jimmy: there could be. but in this case it's your name there. if you put a "g" in front of it, it will be garden. thanks very much, arden. he's a genius. tonight, manny pacquiao is here. we'll be right back with president bill clinton! ♪ [ engine turns over ] [ male announcer ] the 2014 nissan altima. with 270 horses... ♪ ...blind spot warning... ♪ ...and advanced drive assist. ♪ nothing beats an altima. except another altima. ♪ nissan. innovation that excites. ♪ nissan. innovation that excites.
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>> jimmy: coming up on the program, a man of few wds and many spfits. manny pacquiao is here with us. tomorrow night, emma stone will be here. from "scandal," jeff perry will be with us, and we'll have music from school boy q. they say in show business you should never follow children or animals, but i think our first guest tonight is up to the challenge. he used to live in the white house and now dedicates his time to helping others through the clinton global initiative, which encourages young people to turn ideas into action. please welcome the 42nd president of the united states,
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bill clinton. [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for coming. how many elements from the periodic table can you name? >> not that many. when i met arden backstage, he said -- mother said, what element are you? me. and arden said 42, because you're the 42nd president. >> jimmy: yeah, i guess. >> i said arden, what is that in he said malibdinum and what it's good for. >> jimmy: were you a genius like that as a kid? >> no.
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>> jimmy: were you even close to that? did people gather around you and marvel as your intelligence? >> no. i mean, i could read little books when i was 3, but nothing like that. >> jimmy: thank you, by the way, for inviting me to moderate your panel at arizona state university the weekend before last. >> you were great. >> he was in his home element and one of the great benefits we got out of it was your buddy with the pizza business there. i would have asked you sooner if you knew about that. >> you being a vegan, you only get half a pizza, really. do you miss having cheese? >> one of the few things i miss about this diet is i loved hard cheese. i like, you know, hard cheddar cheese and swiss cheese. i miss that. >> jimmy: yeah. but i feel a lot better. >> jimmy: what do you miss more? being president or cheese?
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>> well, i liked being president more than i like cheese. >> jimmy: that's interesting. most days i don't miss it. i love doing the job. i think one of the most important things is when you're doing something you know you can't do forever, you have to organize your life so you don't spend a minute if possible wishing you could do something you can't do anymore. you're going to have manny on here in a few minutes. he's already in the philippine parliament and i hope he goes right on up the ladder. i think he's a great guy and he's a great role model for the country and he's very strong and honest and, so he's thinking about the rest of his life. one of the thing is love about magic johnson is when he had to quit his basketball career prematurely when he developed hiv, he always wanted to be good in business.
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he wanted to inspire young athletes. when you see him on television, you see he still loves it, but he never wasted a day wishing he could do what he couldn't do anymore. >> jimmy: you seemed to love doing what you're doing now. i saw you talking to this very bright group of students. it seems like it energized you muchs it excited them that you were there. >> i love it. almost everybody that works for me is much ewinger than i am. in the foundation and in the global initiative. i love doing this clinton global initiative for university students. they don't have a lot of money, by and large, but they're full of ideas. it's just so reassuring to see them there dealing with the world as it is aechb imagining what it could be. it's thrilling and it's very hard to worry so much about the future if you spend a little time around them. >> jimmy: one thing we disagreed on that day was, i said that
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from my standpoint, it seems like young people don't care that much. you seem surprised by that and hilly seemed surprised. i think you guys are surrounded by these bright young people whereas i'm surrounded by -- for instance, there's a guy that works at chuck e. cheese here. now, this is what i encounter on a daily basis. and when i see this, it makes me worry. but not enough to actually do something about it. how do you get young people to do anything about it at all? >> it's like everything else, the more user friendly you make it, the more likely they are to do it. but i spent a lot of time, for example, thinking about how we can encourage young people to vote. and i think that all these efforts that have been made over the last 25 years are now at
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risk because the supreme court says it's okay to make it harder for people to vote now. i think that's a mistake. this generation of young people has a higher percentage of its number actually participating in volunteer activities and trying to help their communities and trying to help people around the world. >> jimmy: is that true? >> yes, than even in the '60s generation. and we thought we were the most uber socially conscious group of young people you could imagine. are they preoccupied with texting their friends and how they look and who likes them and who loves them? yeah, that's what you're supposed to do when you're young. they're young. it's legitimate to care about that stuff. but it doesn't preclude you from carrying about the rest of the world, wondering whether climate change is going to compromise your future, wor i aring about all of these things. an extraordinarily high percentage of them care about that. a lot of them have economic
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challenges that preclude them from doing a lot about it at certain times. they worry about a loss of social mobility. there are several countries now where you've got a better chance of moving up the economic ladder, moving up the educational level. >> jimmy: should we go there? >> no. >> jimmy: we should not? we should stay put? >> we should stay put and restore economic growth here and restore prosperity so everybody who works hard can be rewarded for it. >> jimmy: we have to take a quick break, but when we come back, i hope you will indulge me in something because i want to ask you about your access to the files on the ufos. okay? president clinton is here with us. we'll be right back. >> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by new vaseline men spray lotions. tackles dryness in seconds. [ hypnotist ] you are feeling satisfied
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>> jimmy: president bill clinton is with us. if i was be the, and i won't be, let's be honest. the first thing i would do after putting my hand on that bible and taking that oath to serve the country. i wouldn't even probably finish the oath, i would run to the white house, i would demand to see all the classified files on the ufos, because i want to know. i would want to know what has been going on. did you do that? >> sort of. i think it was at the beginning
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of the second term, we had the anniversary of roswell. >> jimmy: you waited that long? >> i did. well, there's also area 51. there was a great sci-fi movie where there was an alien kept deep underground. first, i had people go look at the records on area 51 to make sure there was no alien down there. and there's a stop about an hour aw away. a lot of our stealth technology is made there. we know that now. but there are no aliens there. so then i -- when the roswell thing came up, i knew we would get a gazillion letters. so i had all the roswell papers reviewed, everything. >> jimmy: if you saw there were aliens there, would you tell us? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you would? >> i would.
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i would think look, what do we know? we know now we live in an ever expanding universe. we know there are billions of stars and planets literally out there. the universe is getting bigger. we know from our fancy telescopes that just in the last two years more than 20 planets have been identified outside our solar system that seem to be far enough away from their sun that they might be able to support some form of life. so it makes it increasing less likely that we're alone. >> jimmy: you're dritrying to g me a hint there are aliens. >> no, i'm trying to tell you i don't know, but if we were visited some day, i wouldn't be surprised. i just hope that it' not like "independence day." the movie. it's a conflict. maybe the only way to unite us in this incredibly divided world of ours. if they're out there, we better
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think of how all the differences among people on earth would seem small if we felt threatened by a space invader. that's the whole theory of independence day. everybody gets together and makes nice. >> jimmy: you and bill o'reilly would be hiding in a bunker together. >> every mean thing he ever said about me, i don't care, look at that. >> jimmy: do you think this current climate where the parties are so divided and people really have a very difficult time working together on almost anything, is it a temporary situation? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: okay. >> but here's what i do believe. i had a republican congress for six of the eight years i was president. and i had some of the same problems the president has. one of the problems with young people and lower income working people that have kids and trouble voting is that they'll
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show up in a presidential election, and if their candidate wins they think that's all they need to do. so then they don't show up at midterm when the congress is elected, a third of the senate every two years, off-year election. and all the house of representatives. and most of the governors. in state legislatures. so then they wonder why nothing happens. and so we have -- the president and i have talked about this a lot. the number one thing we need to do is get voting up in the nonpresidential years. but i think that it was easier for me to get cooperation in my second term and, you know, remember, they were trying to run me out of town. and i just showed up every day like nothing was changed and i just kept knocking on the door and just kept trying to work with them because that's what people hire you to do to get something done. but it is -- when you have economic adversity and people are pessimistic and frustrated with their own circumstances, it
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is easier to polarize the voters. andic i think you see that in other parts of the world, too. in cairo, all the young people in tahrir square were some of the most amazing people i've seen in my life. but many people lived in rural areas and were having a hard time keeping body and soul together. the only one keeping it together was the muslim brotherhood. the young people never thought about making a political party, going out and campaigning and having a political program. and that's what happens in a lot of places. the young people in ukraine, in the square in kiev were immensely impressive and they want a modern country that is not, despite what president putin says, against russia, but
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gets along with both russia and europe and is a bridge between the two, which is what they want. but the power brokers say you have to be on our side or theirs. that's not what people want. but all these people who have these feelings and want to build modern, cooperative prosperous societies have go the to understand that no matter how distasteful they find politics, if you don't play it, somebody will. and you will lose if you sit it out. and it always happens. you've got to suit up and play the game. >> jimmy: speaking of suiting up and playing the game -- well, when we come back, i want to ask you a question. think about this. fill in the blanks, next election, my blank will run for blank? and we'll play that game when we come back.
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>> jimmy: manny pacquiao is on the way. preside bill clinton is with us. you won't say or can't say whether your wife will run for president. will you run for vice president? >> i don't really think it's constitutional. >> jimmy: it is not constitutional? >> well, in theory, it is, but in practice, it's not because once you serve six years or more as president, you know, if you get elected to two terms, as i said, or if you become president from being vice president, if you serve for more than 18 months of one term and elect another, you can't run again. so it would look -- if you become vice president, you might be president, and i think it would violate the spirit if not the meaning of the 22nd amendment, so i don't believe i can do that. >> jimmy: by that logic, you couldn't really hold any high office because there is secession and eventually
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somebody -- >> if you werer the speaker of the house or the president pro tem of the senate or some member of the cabinet in theory you could be. but the secession movement has never gone that far. but i just think being vice president would undermine the spirit of the constitution and i think it would be a mistake. >> jimmy: that sounds like an excuse to me, i don't know. >> besides that, i would be get sued. >> jimmy: mr. president, there is your family. what a great family this is. >> you're pointing, you are with them. your daughter chelsea has really turned out to be a great person. you must be very proud of them.
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my daughter will have four degrees. she'll have as many as her parents do combined. and we know when she was younger, the way all kids are, she thought she knew more than i did about everything, and alas it turned out to be true. it's true now. but i'm very proud of her. she spends about 2/3 or more of her time now on the work of our foundation and the stuff we do around the world on our own as well as through the global initiative with other partners. and it's wonderful having her. >> jimmy: i would think so. would you be happy if she decided to run for office one day? or is this something you would try to discourage her from? >> no, i would never discourage anybody from running for office? >> jimmy: you don't? >> no. >> jimmy: even me? >> especially you. think how tedious a lot of these campaigns are. it would be so much fun if you ran. >> jimmy: speaking of that, have you been following toronto mayor rob ford?
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i no ehe was canadian, but i would love it if you could put in a word for hillary, potential running mate. i don't know. maybe secretary of state. >> he has absolutely destroyed every stereotype people have about canadians. >> jimmy: that he has. that he has. the canadians are upbeat, optimistic, can-do. they are embracing, they are inclusive. it's an amazing expressive -- >> jimmy: who's more inclusive than him. >> he really has. everything i ever believed about canadians, old rob has proved that you can't be -- stereotypes are not good, positive or negative, i guess. >> jimmy: do you miss being the first african-american president? i feel like you were cheated out of that. that was taken from you. >> yeah, well, let me say, i consider it -- i was incredibly
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fortunate that i was born in a little town in arkansas and raised by my grandparents largely and my great uncle and aunt when my widowed mother went off to become a nurse. and my grandparents were poor white southerners who, as a class were among the most racially prejudiced people in the south. and they weren't. my grand dad ran a country store and the vast majority of his customers were african-american. so i was raised in a different way. i was at home in the church, at home in the culture, at home. and it was such a gift to me that i grew up free of that, and i deserve no credit for it whatsoever. it's the way i was raised. so i love being called the first black president. we did everything we could to
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support barack obama. i was delighted we had 7 million people sign up on the health exchange. now we have 14 million or 15 million -- [ applause ] >> 14 million or 15 million people with insurance who never had it before. and it happened while the percentage of our income going to health care dropped from 17.8 down to 17.2, which is a big deal. one of the reasons no americans got pay raises for a decade is that health care costs were going up three times the rate of inflation, and a lot of employer, particularly smaller ones, had nothing left to give their employees a pay raise. this is going to have huge positive economic benefits if we just stay with it and keep working it. >> jimmy: thank you so much for being here. president clinton, everyone. the clinton global initiative. you can be part of it. go to their website. we'll be right back with manny pacquiao.
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you can pay the bill, too. but don't worry about that right now. okay. how do i look? ♪ thanks. [ male announcer ] troubleshoot, manage appointments, and bill pay from your phone. introducing the xfinity my account app.
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>> jimmy: our next guest is the second-most famous politician on the show tonight. he's a congressman back home and a boxing legend around the world. on saturday, april 12th in vegas, he fights to regain the wbo welterweight title from timothy bradley. please say hello to the pride of the philippines, manny pacquiao. good to see you. when was this picture taken? >> a long time ago. >> jimmy: does the secret service get nervous when you raise your fist to the president? risky move right there. the president hopes you one day will run the philippines. is that something that's in your brain? >> right now, i'm focused with
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my position as a congressman. >> jimmy: okay. all right. you're focused on that. and also hopefully on boxing. >> april 12. >> jimmy: is she running for right now? >> she's vice president of the congress. >> jimmy: is it possible she might one day run the country? >> that's a long way to go. . >> jimmy: congratulations, i know your wife is president with your fifth child. did you pick out a name? >> yes, we did. israel. >> jimmy: are you jewish?
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you know, jimmy is a nice name for a kid also. nothing against israel. it would be nice. how many kids would you have to have before you named one after me? >> eight. >> jimmy: i may hold you to that. that's pretty good for me, i think. what if you wife goes into labor during your fight? it's possible, correct? >> it's possible, yes. we're expecting last week of this month. >> jimmy: would you still fight? would you postpone the fight? >> no. >> jimmy: you would fight anyways? okay, all right, now the last fight was really a terrible injustice with bradley. i mean, it was really a terrible dpigs. i think most people agree. do you think bradley knows he lost that fight? >> i think so. but, you know, because of the pride and -- >> jimmy: delusion? >> because of ego, he claimed that he won the fight. >> yeah, well, the judges did
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say they won the fight. they seem to be the only ones that thought he won the fight. now you go into a fight like this and do you think, you know, i have to knock this guy out. i can't rely on the judges. is that something that goes through your mind. do you still want to when the fight on points? >> i'm not thinking about the knockout. if the knockout comes, it will come. but what my focus is more aggressiveness, more throwing punches and, you know, i want to prove to him that my killer instinct is not -- it's always there. >> he has challenged that. he said a number of things about you. he said that he believes your killer instinct is not there. he said he'll be faster than you, he's hungrier than you. he says if you don't knock me out, you're not going to win. he says if you lose this fight, your career is probably over. does that hurt your feelings?
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>> i don't get hurt what he said, but it's more challenge to me. it inspired me to work hard, you know, of course, there's, you know, like thinking of, i have to do this. you know, the last time i have become too nice to him in the ring. but this time, i think -- >> jimmy: you feel like you were too nice last time? >> finish first the fight. >> jimmy: then you can be nice. then you make nice. well, i we shall you luck, my friend. i hope you get a fair shake this time around. manny pacquiao, everybody. against bradley for the second time live on pay-per-view. thanks to president clinton. sorry to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. good night.
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this is "nightline." tonight, breaking news. under attack. another mass shooting with multiple casualties at ft. hood, america's largest army base. emergency crews race to the scene. >> take shelter immediately. >> tens of thousands of soldiers and their families are told to take shelter. >> he took the .9 mil and put the weapon to his head. >> who was the shooter? a u.s. soldier and married 34-year-old father. he was always smiling and waving whenever i saw him. >> we're outside his home tonight with the neighbor that consoled his wife and child as they heard the news. >> she was shaking. >> a special edition of "nightline."

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